What Turning 40 Means To Me

Tomorrow¬†I turn 40. I was born at 1:03am, so I’ll be 40 as soon as I wake up. We’re right in the middle of a move, so the birthday stuff has kind of been on the back burner. Don’t even get me started on how brutal it is to find a place when your husband […]

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Breaths

When the nurse asked us if we’d like to hold our son after he was delivered, I had reservations. What if something was horribly wrong? Could I stand to hold the lifeless body of this person who just the day before had been joyfully squirming around inside of me? I told her that I just […]

Lost

“We lost the baby.” I heard those words coming out of my mouth, and they left a bitter taste. Of course we didn’t lose him. He was right there, still inside of me. There was no heartbeat, but he wasn’t lost. He was dead. Speaking in niceties felt like I was being unfair to this […]

Empty

My womb emptied And we held you for a brief moment Marveling at your delicate, beautiful features. Your dark hair, Your long toes, Your tiny nose, Your perfect lips. Too soon our arms were emptied, No longer able to hold you, To smell the top of your head, To stroke your sweet skin, Or kiss […]